'कुछ तो कमी है'

बेशख बैठा मैं उनके साथ ही हूँ

पर नजाने वहां मौजूद क्यूँ नहीं हूँ 

फिर लगा कुछ तो कमी है 

मेरे अन्दर एक अजीब सी हलचल मची हुई है 

अपनों के बीच  हूँ पर अपनापन  नहीं  है

फिर लगा  कुछ तो  कमी है 

नजाने क्या चल रहा है मेरे मन में 

बस यही जान ने की कोशिश में हूँ 

फिर लगा  कुछ तो  कमी है 

महेनत तो बहुत करता हूँ 

पर उनके जैसी सफलता नहीं है 

फिर लगा  कुछ तो  कमी है 

ज़िन्दगी में पाया तो बहुत कुछ है 

पर वोह हासिल करने की ख़ुशी क्यूँ नहीं है 

फिर लगा  कुछ तो  कमी है 

ज़िन्दगी में करना तो बहुत कुछ है 

पर जो करता हूँ उस में दिलचस्पी नहीं  है 

फिर लगा  कुछ तो  कमी है 

रिश्ते नाते बहुतों से जोड़े है 

पर उन्न रिश्तों में मिठास नहीं है 

फिर लगा  कुछ तो  कमी है 

मुझे दोस्त तो बहुत कहते है 

पर उन्न दोस्तों की दोस्ती नहीं है 

फिर लगा  कुछ तो  कमी है 

उसको चाहता तो बहुत  हूँ 

पर नजाने क्यूँ सिर्फ चाहत है प्यार नहीं है 

फिर लगा  कुछ तो  कमी है 

देख तो बहुतकुछ  चूका हूँ 

पर अभी भी दुनिया देखि नहीं है 

फिर लगा  कुछ तो  कमी है 

लक्श्य भी है पाने का जूनून भी है 

पर उन्न तक रास्तें अभी साफ़  नहीं  है

फिर लगा  कुछ तो  कमी है 

सब कुछ  है तो ज़िन्दगी सही है 

कुछ  नहीं  है तो ज़िन्दगी यही है 

फिर लगा  कुछ तो  कमी है 

फिर लगा  कुछ तो  कमी है  

-अवनीश गुप्ता

     

        'ख़ामोशी'

ये ख़ामोशी क्या है शायद कोई नहीं पहचानता

न जाने इसके पीछे छुपे कितने राज़ है ये कोई नहीं जानता

कोई क्यूँ इसका सहारा लेता है

ख़ामोशी के पीछे झाको तोह इसकी भी एक वजह है

ये तोजैसे एक पर्दा है

जो दर्द का सागर समाये बैठी है

लेकिन ख़ामोशी बोले तोह वो भी बोल जाती है

जो बात कह के भी नहीं कही जाती है

इस दुनिया की मोह माया में वोह सुकून नहीं

जो कई बार खामोश रह कर ख़ामोशी दे जाती है

किसी की ख़ामोशी कभी रिश्ते बनाती है

तो कभी उन्ही रिश्तों में दरार डालती है

सच को झूट दिखाती है

तो कभी झूट को सच बनाती है

किसी का सहारा बन जाती है

तो कभी बेसहारा कर जाती है
किसी की ज़िन्दगी बचाती है

तो कभी किसी को ख़तम कर जाती है

ऐसे ऐसे खेल ख़ामोशी खेल जाती है

सच में ख़ामोशी क्या है कोई नही जानता

सच में ख़ामोशी क्या है कोई नहीं पहचानता 

- अवनीश गुप्ता

WHAT’s THE HURRY BUDDY

I am sure you must have read, heard and talked about it a lot that this world is caught  in a race, everyone is in a hurry to reach somewhere even if some are not aware why they have to reach there, I hope you get what I mean. But what I am going to write in this article is not the conventional boring stuff about the above but a very unusual example that makes me laugh every single time I witness it and I am sure it will make you laugh too.

DELHI METRO is a place where I feel one can’t get bored. You find such characters that knowingly or unknowingly try their best that other people’s journey doesn’t become monotonous. But without deviating away from the topic too much I don’t understand one thing and would like to ask is that, why is everyone in a hurry to get into the metro coach and more interestingly even in a greater hurry to get off the same coach to get into which you almost sort of fought a 1 against 10 handicapped wrestling match. Okay I can understand that for those people who are travelling for the first time in the metro, the whole thing is a new concept to them and there is an anxiety regarding taking the right route and getting off at the correct station. But what about others…huh?  This isn’t your first time….!!!

If you have noticed there is this digital timer at every station that informs everyone when the next train due is. As soon as it shows 1 minute left you can see everyone getting ready for the next world war, there is this sense of tension in the air and a look of a killer in everyone’s eye. The moment the gates open the battle is flagged off. They are in such a hurry that they want to get into the train even before those who want to get off without realizing that when others get  off only then will there be space for you stupid…!!!  People want to  get in first so that they can grab a seat, but I don’t know why. Firstly if you don’t get the seat , standing for 40 minutes is not going to wear down your legs( I am sure they can take this much strain at least) and secondly why do you try so hard for a thing that is ultimately going to be taken away from you. It’s just a matter of time before an old man/woman or a lady is going to take it away from you and mind you these people do not ask for it politely every time.

One more thing DELHI METRO is a classic example of a situation where the supply is stopped to create artificial demand. Everyone is so concerned about getting off the metro before other as if there is a race going on that all of them want to stand near the doors and if one observes from outside the middle section of every coach is half empty. Thus unnecessarily a problem of space shortage has been created.  I tell you one incident, there is a college friend of mine who was coming from Faridabad to Delhi by metro. It was his first time and so understandably he was standing near the door so as to get off at the right station, the anxiety I talked about. But you wouldn’t believe that the wave of crowd was such that he was pulled every single time out before his actual station and had to struggle his way back into the train. Poor lad swore not to ride in a metro again, haha.

Why don’t people realize that first of all they are not going to miss their station and even if they do by chance I just want to remind them that our engineers have made a route way back also. So why don’t you all let your worries go and stop making your metro ride unnecessarily a tiring activity. It won’t matter if you sometimes loose a minute or so, stop racing against time and yourself. It’s not the destination but the journey that matters and try to make yours a delightful one.

             

       'बेदर्द' 

मेरे यार कहते है बड़ा बेदर्द है तू 

ये सुनके दिल में दर्द होता है खूब 

यारों दिल में तो दर्द है इतना 

सात समुन्दरो में न होगा पानी मेरे दर्द जितना 

क्या बताएं यारो तुम्हे अपने दुखरो की कहानी 

तुम समझ ना पाओगे क्या है हमारी परेशानी 

हम वो नहीं जो अपने दुःख से दुनिया को रुलाये पर 

हम तो अपने दर्द को छुपाये और दुनिया को हसाए 

फिर भी मेरे यार कहते है बड़ा बेदर्द है तू 

ये सुनके हँसत हूँ, एक दर्द और अपने दिल में छुपा लेता हूँ .

-अवनीश गुप्ता 

THEY LIED TO US

I have completed my second year of engineering, but let’s go back a little in time when I was in 10^th standard. The year was 2008 and I was going to give the much HYPED board examinations. Like any other normal student I was very tensed and was under enormous amount pressure of performing well. Why? I tell you why, because the world told to me “Son this is the most crucial year and your career depends on it, you perform well here life will be walk in the park”. Well what other option did I a 16 year old naïve one had, if they are saying so then it must be so. So with a great feeling of optimism  I said let’s do it and gave my best shot. Well the result was pretty good, almost what I had expected and it felt as if I had conquered the world. Parents were happy and everyone was congratulating me over my so called big success.

Everything was going smooth when thunder struck. The world now had forgotten what had been achieved until so far. Everyone was interested in what is he going to do next. Which stream would it be? Some said commerce you know become a CA, others wanted me to be an engineer and a couple of people wanted a doctor in their family. Well I was pretty clear what I had to do, so decided to take up science stream (non-medical ).  Then I was told you need to do something extra to achieve something in life and get ahead of others. Well I was 17 only and once again gave in to the advice of others. Like lakhs of other students across India got myself involved in a rat race chasing the best for myself. And once again the world told to me “Son the next two years are very crucial and your career depends on it, you perform well here life will be walk in the park”. They are the experienced ones, they know it better  and once again geared myself up for a  journey that was no less than hell. I joined coaching classes for engineering entrance examinations. Five days a week school and then slogged weekends at the coaching centre, this went on for a couple of years thinking after this I can live on my own terms. Besides this again 12^th standard board examinations came and the pressure was back again. But it all got over finally. Gave my boards and got a pretty good result again. Entrance exams went fine too and got myself a seat in an engineering college and once again the feeling was “I am the king of this world”.

Now there was excitement that finally college life is here. All that I had seen in movies till now was going to turn into reality and it did so. But reality hit me hard again. I realized this world did everything to make you and your achievements feel small. Regular assignments, mid semester exams and final papers were the new things on the block and above all was the trauma of maintaining your pointer(CPI). The world once again told me “Son perform well during these four years and life will be a walk in the park for you.”  Once again believing in their LIE took up studies seriously . Results have been  pretty decent so far and now after two years I am in a formidable situation.

Finally a feeling had sunked in that finally life will be a walk in the park from now on but it is said the moment you think you have control over your life that’s when life shows it’s true nature and that is what has happened here too.  “Son everyone nowadays takes up engineering , you need to raise your bar and get ahead. So what is your plan after B.Tech? You do a post-graduation from a good place and life will be a walk in the park after that.” Is what I am hearing from this world now.

And after 20 years of dreaming that my LIFE WILL BE A WALK IN THE PARK I doubt whether this dream will ever actually come true. I doubt if ever this cycle of lies and consequent optimism is going to end? Whether this world will ever be satisfied? Whether this world ever stop trying to raise the bar? I hope that someday I finally get my answers to all these questions. I hope I finally can find the park that had been promised to me and I have been trying to look for till now . Until then  this feeling of optimism is what all I have to keep with me and move ahead .

     

   "मकसद"

मेरे  होने  का  मकसद क्या  है 

इसके  जवाब  से  अभी  तक  वाकिफ  नहीं  हूँ

ज़िन्दगी  का  सफ़र  तो  चालू  कबका  कर दिया  है 

पर मंजिल  से  अभी  तक  वाकिफ नहीं   हूँ 

इस  सफ़र  में  मिलले तो  बहुत है 

पर   उन्न  सबकी  नियत  से  अभी  तक  वाकिफ  नहीं  हूँ 

एक  पल  कुछ   करने  का  जी  चाहए 

तो  अगले  ही  पल मन कही  और  दौड़  जाए 

सब  एक  पहेली  जैसा  नज़र  आये 

पर  ज़िन्दगी  एक  पहेली  ही  तो  है  ये  जान  गया  हूँ 

और  इस  पहेली  को  सुलझाना  ही  ज़िन्दगी  है  ये  समझ  गया  हूँ .

- अवनीश गुप्ता 

"विश्वासघात" 

जिनको  अपना  समझा  था

वो  हमी  को  न समझ  पाए

जिनपे  हमने  विश्वास  किया  था

वो  हमी  पर  विश्वास  न  कर  पाए

ज़िन्दगी  में  इतने  धोके  खा  चूका  हूँ अब

की  समझ  नहीं  आता  किसको अपना  समझूं

किस  पर  विश्वास  करून  अब

अब  हमको  कोई   समझना  भी  चाहे

अब  कोई   विश्वास  का  खेल  फिरसे खेलना  भी  चाहे

तो  डर  लगता  है  की  इस ज़ख़्मी को कही  एक  ठोकर  और  न  पढ़  जाए

ज़िन्दगी  का  सफ़र  अकेले  ही  शुरू  किया  था

 अकेले  ही  चला  जा रहा  हूँ

और अकेले  ही  ख़तम   करूँगा   ऐसा    लगता  है

फिर  भी  दिल  में  एक  आशा  की  किरण  है 

की  कही  किसी  मोड़  पे  एक  मुसाफिर  और  मिलेगा

और  यह  सफ़र  हमारे  साथ  पार  करेगा .

- अवनीश गुप्ता 

          "नाजाने"

दिन भर सोच तेरे बारे थक जाता हूँ मैं 

बेचैन दिल से सोने चला जाता हूँ मैं 

उसकी आँखें नाजाने क्या नशा कर गई है मुझपे 

वो नाजाने कौनसा प्यार का जाम पिला गई है मुझे 

की कम्भाक्त मेरे सपनो में भी चली आती है 

और रोज़ रात मेरी नींद उड़ा ले जाती है .  

- अवनीश गुप्ता 

         "खेल ज़िन्दगी का "

ज़िन्दगी  का  दस्तूर  मैं अभी तक  जान  नहीं  पाया

ये   ज़िन्दगी  कैसा खेल  है  में पहचान  नहीं  पाया

इस  खेल  के  नियम  अजीब है  बहुत

किसी  को  मिले  थोडा  और  किसी  को  मिले  बहुत

कब  क्या हो  जाए  ये  नहीं  पता  लगा  सकते

कल  जो  जीते  आज  भी  जीत  जाये  ये  कह नहीं  सकते

कोई  थोडा  पाके भी खुश  

तो  कोई  सब  पाके  भी  नाखुश

अभी  तो  में  इस  खेल  का  नया  खिलाड़ी  हूँ

पर  थोडा  बहुत  मैं  भी  इस  खेल  को  समझने  लगा  हूँ

ज़िन्दगी  के  जीना  का  मज़ा  वही  ले  पता  है

जो  इस  खेल  में  हार  कर  भी  खेलना  चाहता  है  

-अवनीश गुप्ता

     गुस्ताखी  माफ़

ऐसा क्या गुन्नाह कर दिया जाने अनजाने में हमने

की वो  नफरत ही करने लग गये हमसे

हमारे कहे को दिल पे ऐसा क्या ले लिया उन्होंने

की हमसे गुफ्तगू भी करना छोर दिया उन्होंने

हमने तो बस उनके साथ मज़ाक करना छह था

पर मजाक तो वो  हमारे साथ कर गये 

जिस जुर्म से बेखबर थे हम 

ऐसे जुर्म की सज़ा भुगतने  छोर दिया हमें

एक मौका मिल्ल्ले तो अपनी गुस्ताखी को भी सुधार दे 

बस वो  हमें  इस कदर नज़र अंदाज़ करना बंद तो करे.

-अवनीश गुप्ता

HALF WAY THROUGH...!!!!

As I was sitting in a train on my way back to Delhi from Jaipur I realized that I have actually completed half of my engineering. Well my end semester examinations of second year of graduation just got over and the next three months are to be spend at home, yes three months off from college..!!!  I always had aspired to become an engineer. Looking out of the train’s window and seeing the trees speeding  past me I realized I how similar to these trees my time during the last two years in The LNMIIT  had passed away so quickly. Last couple of years has not only made me acquire and develop my engineering skills only but much more than that. It has journey been I would say worth living for. Staying away from home for the first time and being exposed to the open real world it helped me understand the dynamics of it.

First of all talking about the hostels itself I would say that hostel life is simply awesome. Infact I would say that hostel life is an integral part of engineering, without it it’s just incomplete. It just gives you and takes nothing. By giving I mean to say it gives you the experience to be on your own, have a firsthand experience of what it’s like to be independent. It helps you develope as a person, realize the true character of this world. You are bound to make some good friends as has been the case with me, On the lighter site the fun and the thrills it gives you is just incomparable to anything and that is what makes hostel life worth it. Infact writing about this has made me nostalgic about my own hostel experiences during the last two years. If I sit down to write everything that has happened uptill now I would end up writing a book.

Reading up till now one might feel that engineering is all about having fun but I would like to say that it’s not at all like that my friend, with all the long and tiring lectures, regular assignments that you don’t have a clue about and of course the dreadful examinations engineering is one hell of a journey and it’s no child play. If at one end it’s the fun of staying in a hostel then on the other hand there is this huge amount of pressure to perform and achieve something to make yourself worthwhile. The parents wants you give a constant performance, get good grades and besides that there are your own expectations from yourself. Many students who have the potential just take the wrong path during these crucial years. Staying in a hostel also adds pressure especially when your friends are performing well and you are not!!!

 One thing I have cherished most about the last two years is that there have been numerous instances when I have been down and out, all alone by myself, but I still managed to rise up again. I feel life is all about this only, to discover about yourself, your strengths and weaknesses. With engineering another thing that becomes an important part of your life is your CPI i.e. cumulative point index if anyone of you doesn’t know about it. For some their CPI is a matter of pride while for some it’s just the opposite. My advice to all of you out there would be never ask three things in life a woman’s age, a man’s salary and an engineer’s CPI !!!  Well I would like to stop here right now as engineering life is something I can go on and on and unfortunately my station is here. It’s times to go home and with two years gone and two to go I have many expectations. The next two years I hope will be even better, something special something that can be cherished for the rest of my life because you get only one such opportunity.      

             

THE SHIP HAS FINALLY SAILED

My engineering exams are finally over and now the college is finally off for three months, yes you heard it right three months..!!!  It might look pretty awesome but believe me three months is not an easy time for people like us to pass our time through although I might be doing some work this summer but still.  You must be wondering that why am I telling you all this, well because the idea of starting this blog is somehow related to this only. I always wanted to do blogging and even made couple of attempts previously in the past but failed miserably. But during the last week of my college during my examination time I was just surfing through the internet when I went through some blogs and it just struck me why the hell I don’t go ahead with it, and with the summer break coming up I thought it is a good time to put my thoughts into my actions. And here it is finally I have done the first thing on my ‘To do checklist’ for this summer. Well blogging is not an easy thing to do, how can I say that? Well that’s the reason I didn’t do it till now. You have to make efforts  to write something that not only interests you but should attract other people attention  too, to grab an audience for your  blog and connect with them is the not a walk in the park. So in order to seek attention of wider horizon of audience I have tried not to do blogging about anything in specific but keep it arbitrary.

 Randomness is the key to my blog, randynamicavanish which is my blog domain is for random dynamic avanish only. You will find articles about day to day stuff, some of my poems that I have written (a word of caution you might find it extremely boring and funny but I would feel obliged even if one person out there is able to connect him/herself with it) and some of the quotations that I have been able to write based upon my experiences till now (I don’t know if I sounded like 60 in my last statement..!!!). If this thing becomes a success I would like to expand it and add more things to this blog of mine. For that I will be needing the support of all of you. I hope I am able to provide quality entertaining stuff to all my followers.