I have completed my second year of
engineering, but let’s go back a little in time when I was in 10th standard. The year was 2008 and I was
going to give the much HYPED board examinations. Like any other normal student
I was very tensed and was under enormous amount pressure of performing well.
Why? I tell you why, because the world told to me “Son this is the most crucial
year and your career depends on it, you perform well here life will be walk in
the park”. Well what other option did I a 16 year old naïve one had, if they
are saying so then it must be so. So with a great feeling of optimism I
said let’s do it and gave my best shot. Well the result was pretty good, almost
what I had expected and it felt as if I had conquered the world. Parents were
happy and everyone was congratulating me over my so called big success.
Everything was going smooth when
thunder struck. The world now had forgotten what had been achieved until so
far. Everyone was interested in what is he going to do next. Which stream would
it be? Some said commerce you know become a CA, others wanted me to be an
engineer and a couple of people wanted a doctor in their family. Well I was
pretty clear what I had to do, so decided to take up science stream
(non-medical ). Then I was told you need to do something extra to achieve
something in life and get ahead of others. Well I was 17 only and once again
gave in to the advice of others. Like lakhs of other students across India got
myself involved in a rat race chasing the best for myself. And once again the
world told to me “Son the next two years are very crucial and your career
depends on it, you perform well here life will be walk in the park”. They are
the experienced ones, they know it better and once again geared myself up
for a journey that was no less than hell. I joined coaching classes for
engineering entrance examinations. Five days a week school and then slogged
weekends at the coaching centre, this went on for a couple of years thinking
after this I can live on my own terms. Besides this again 12th standard board examinations came and
the pressure was back again. But it all got over finally. Gave my boards and
got a pretty good result again. Entrance exams went fine too and got myself a
seat in an engineering college and once again the feeling was “I am the king of
this world”.
Now there was excitement that finally
college life is here. All that I had seen in movies till now was going to turn
into reality and it did so. But reality hit me hard again. I realized this
world did everything to make you and your achievements feel small. Regular
assignments, mid semester exams and final papers were the new things on the
block and above all was the trauma of maintaining your pointer(CPI). The world
once again told me “Son perform well during these four years and life will be a
walk in the park for you.” Once again believing in their LIE took up
studies seriously . Results have been pretty decent so far and now after
two years I am in a formidable situation.
Finally a feeling had sunked in that
finally life will be a walk in the park from now on but it is said the moment
you think you have control over your life that’s when life shows it’s true
nature and that is what has happened here too. “Son everyone nowadays
takes up engineering , you need to raise your bar and get ahead. So what is
your plan after B.Tech? You do a post-graduation from a good place and life
will be a walk in the park after that.” Is what I am hearing from this world
now.
And after 20 years of dreaming that my
LIFE WILL BE A WALK IN THE PARK I doubt whether this dream will ever actually
come true. I doubt if ever this cycle of lies and consequent optimism is going
to end? Whether this world will ever be satisfied? Whether this world ever stop
trying to raise the bar? I hope that someday I finally get my answers to all
these questions. I hope I finally can find the park that had been promised to
me and I have been trying to look for till now . Until then this feeling
of optimism is what all I have to keep with me and move ahead .
