‘लुका छुपी‘

धुआ धुआ सा छाया है मेरे चारो ओर 

नजाने क्यूँ धुंधली सी है आज मेरी सोच 

हवा में आज नमी कुछ अलग सी ही है 

भयंकर तूफ़ान से आने के पहले की शान्ति जैसे फेली हुई है  

अजीब सा ही मौसम छाया हुआ है मेरे मन पे  

कभी दिखे सूर्य की किरणे  

तो कभी चाँद क्या तारे भी न चमके

  

एक सांप जैसे लिपटा पढ़ा है मुझसे 

चाहे तो अगली हरकत पर ही मुझको दस् दे 

क्यूँ लग रहा है जैसे 

ज़रूर कही किसी कोने में कुछ खतरनाक सा चल रहा है 

मेरे खिलाफ कोई जैसे कुछ साज़िश रच रहा है 

खुली हवा में सांस ले रहा हूँ 

फिर भी घुटन महसूस कर रहा हूँ

और जैसे अपने एक डरवाने सपने को जी रहा हूँ

कल तक मेरे सामने ही थी मेरी मंजिल 

फिर क्यूँ आज कही वो छिप गयी है 

इस कोहरे के धुये में कही खो गयी है 

लुका छुपी का खेल बचपन से खेलता रहा हूँ

अपने रास्ते से भटक आज गया हूँ

पर अभी न ही अपनी हिम्मत और न ही ये खेल हारा हूँ

ऐ मंजिल जा चुप ले जहाँ छुप सकती है 

आजमा ले मेरा जोर  

और लगा ले अपना जितना जोर तू लगा सकती है 

बेश्ख मेरी नज़र से तू अभी छुप जाएगी 

पर मेरे हौसले से तू न बच पायेगी 

मेरे हौसले के आगे तू हार ही जाएगी 

- अवनीश गुप्ता 

      

     

      'अक्सर'

अक्सर  मैं  सोच  में  पढ़  जाता  हूँ 

और  एक  अलग  ही  दुनिया  में  खो  जाता  हूँ

कभी  खुली  आँखों  से  सपने  बुनता  हूँ 

तो  कभी  उन्ही  सपनो  की  गहराइयों  में  रात  को  डूब  जाता  हूँ

अपने  सपनो  को  देखके  उन्ही  सपनो  में  जीने  का  दिल  करता  है 

पर  फिर  उन्ही  हसीन  हसरतो  को  हकीक़त  मनाने   का  मेरा  जी  करता  है 

अक्सर  मैं  सोच  में  पढ़  जाता  हूँ
और  खुद  ही  से   ये  सवाल  उठाता  हूँ 

की  क्यूँ  इंसान  इतना  नादान  है  

जो  खुद  ही  से  अभी  तक  अनजान  है 

की  क्यूँ  इंसान  है  इतना  अजीब 

हमेशा  इसकी  हसरते  होती  है  कुछ  पाने  की  हसीन 

अक्सर  मैं  सोच  में  पढ़  जाता  हूँ

और  वक़्त  की  ताक्कत  को  महसूस  कर  भोच्का  रह  जाता  हूँ

ये  तो   वक़्त  वक़्त  की  बात  है 

की  कल  जो  अपने  थे  आज  पराये  हो  गये  

और  कल  के   पराये  आज  हमारे  सहारा  देने  वाले  कन्धे  बन  गये  

ये  तो  वक़्त  वक़्त  की  बात  है 

की  सुख  में  मिल  जायेंगे  बहुत  ख़ुशी  बाटने  के  लिए 

पर  कौन  है  अपना  कौन  पराया  दुःख  में  इसका  एहसास  होता  है 

अक्सर  मैं  सोच  में  पढ़  जाता  हूँ

और  बीतें  लम्हों  की  यादों  में  घूम  हो  जाता  हूँ

कभी  कभी  उन्  सबकी  याद  आ  जाती  है 

कभी  कभी  उन्  सब  की  कमी  मुझे  खल  जाती  है 

कैसा  होता  मेरा  आने  वाला  कल 

अगर  मेरा  आज  भी  होता  मेरा  बिता  हुआ  कल 

अक्सर  मैं  सोच  में  पढ़  जाता  हूँ

और  हज़ारों  सवालों  से  युही  घिर  जाता  हूँ

की  कैसा  होता  अगर  ऐसा  होता 

अगर  ऐसा  होता  तो  कैसा  होता 

अक्सर  मैं  सोच  में  पढ़  जाता  हूँ

की  क्यूँ  मैं  सोच  में  पढ़  जाता  हूँ

की  क्यूँ  मैं  बार  बार  कही  खो  जाता  हूँ

की  क्यूँ  मैं  इतने  सवाल  उठाता  हूँ

की  क्यूँ  मैं  याद  करता  और  फिर  जुदा  हो  जाता  हूँ

इन्ही  सब  सवालों  के  जवाब  ढूंडने  बार  बार  मैं  निकल  जाता  हूँ

और  अक्सर  मैं  सोच  में  पढ़  जाता  हूँ

और  अक्सर  मैं  सोच  में  पढ़  जाता  हूँ 

- अवनीश गुप्ता 

                     

                 'क्यूँ आज'

आज अपने आप को शब्दों के दरमियाँ बया करने का फिर मन कर गया 

नजाने क्यूँ आज फिरसे लिखने का जी कर गया 

ऐसा लग रहा है जैसे मेरे साथ बहुत कुछ है घट गया 

जो आज एक दम से फिर कलम  उठाने का मन कर गया 

नजाने क्यूँ आज फिरसे लिखने का जी कर गया 

पता नहीं क्यूँ मन में एक अलग सी चंचलता है आज 

पता नहीं क्यूँ दिल में एक अलग सी हलचल है आज 

कुछ है नहीं बताने को फिर भी आज क्यूँ कुछ बताने को जी कर गया 

नजाने क्यूँ आज फिरसे लिखने का जी कर गया 

ऐसा लगा जैसे कुछ न घट के भी घट गया 

इस अन्घठी घटना का मेरे पर ऐसा असर पढ़ गया 

जो न होके भी मेरे दिल को लग गया 

और चुपके से जाके मेरे मन में बस गया 

नजाने क्यूँ  आज  फिरसे लिखने का जी कर गया 

शायद ऐसे ही इस मन का आज मन कर गया 

शायद ऐसे ही आज दिल कर गया 

जो आज फिरसे लिखने का जी कर गया 

जो आज फिरसे लिखने का जी कर गया 

- अवनीश गुप्ता  

THE MIDNIGHT OIL

One week to go before the final examinations start (or maybe less than that for the more daring ones). Tension starts to creep onto your mind and the worry whether you can at least deliver a decent performance in your examinations starts to eat you up. It’s a period when suddenly we become self motivators, giving ourselves confidence boost by creating an imaginary bubble around ourselves that the situation is not that much out of control. We curse ourselves for allowing yourself to fall into the trap again and yes then the damage control starts with the great thought in our minds “There is always a next time,  this won’t happen ever again.” In fact pages on facebook have been created on this very real yet unattainable thought. (Personally this crunch situation always reminds me of the Indo-Pak Kargil war of 1999 where India cursed itself for having allowed the intrusion along the Line of Control(LOC) for which we had to pay a heavy price but the difference is that the Indian army never had to curse itself again for this unlike us.)

Already one paragraph down and I haven’t yet come up with the main issue that I want to highlight. So students start to prepare for their examinations, the routine gets all upside down. Generally students who used to sleep in the 10-12 pm slot now suddenly develop an habit to stay up late (2-4 am) and study. I don’t know whether this is psychological or what but studying for your examinations especially during late night makes you feel as if you are the one who has written the course book in contradiction to the reality of being the one who has actually struggled to even read it. I think it is in mind only that we feel so because the thought that “I am studying when the rest of the world is sleeping” makes you IMAGINE that you are working your ass off (working hard). Now the truth my friend is that this is not true. The actual scenario is that you had been just sitting on your ass for the past two months whereas the rest of the world was working their asses off even then, they are doing it today and will do it tomorrow also. That is why I say “God is fair.”  So it is NO BIG DEAL that you are staying up late for a week just to study that to for yourself that to because you didn’t do so before when you had to.

Two paragraphs down and my main issue is yet to come up and it’s here finally. You stayed up late studied hard with full concentration and instead of your normal routine of sleeping at 11 pm you slept at somewhere 2:30 am in the morning. I say good job done. But this is just one side of the story. The other side of this unique coin (which is the main issue…finally) is that earlier you used to get up at say 7 am (considering a normal 8 hour period of sleep) but now you get up at 10 am. So my question to all is that eventually what is the point of studying late?  Ultimately you were getting a sleep of 8 hours earlier also and now also. Students get up late with AUTHORITY as if they had been working in a Hitler’s concentration camp and finally have been freed. Parents yes how can I forget them, they create hype about this issue more than the students themselves which ultimately persuades the mind of the students.

  

A typical scenario is something like this

Dad: It is 8 o’clock already why is he\she still sleeping?

Mom: Let him\her sleep. He \she was studying till 3 am.

Dad: Oh! Is that so? Then let it be.

You: Zzzzzzzzz…….

Now I can understand the psychology of the parents that ultimately they are ‘PARENTS’ but my friend what about you?  Don’t you think you should make up for all the fun you had earlier by working your ass off a bit more harder because when results come your parents are the one to screw you, a harsh reality. Practically the real motive of studying late is to cover up for the time lost, not replace it. So if you stay up late to study (I hope you study at least at that time) and get up late also then I would say NO BIG DEAL.

Short Story-004

It was quarter past twelve on a Wednesday afternoon. The ambience was very serene and soothing. People around on all the other tables were engaged in chatting with each other without any showcase of too much of attention seeking emotions but these two had been sitting there quietly on a small round table for two for quite some time now. Breaking the ice she asked him '' Tell me what love for you is?'' Finally taking his eyes of her and breaking away from his thoughts he took a deep breath, smiled and said '' The very fact that I can sit here with you for hours just staring at you lost in my thoughts , without being uneasy , not feeling the need to necessarily say something and yet enjoying your presence . For me that is love.'' 

Short Story-003

They were the best of friends. They were like 'The Three Musketeers’. She was going out with one of the two guys for quite some time now. His best friend was his girl friend and this thought used to make him very upbeat and content. He felt like he was complete. They were deeply in love with each other. But this love was long gone and now the excitement in their relationship was no more. Unaware of this fact the other guy though pleased for both his friends used to feel the need of having something similar, something so spicy something so exciting in his life. He loved that girl which was his best friend and his best friend's girl friend but didn't want to ruin everything. One day while sitting alone with her he hugged her and with her image in his mind said "I wish I too had someone who loved me and whom I loved even more, someone who made me feel what I have never felt like before." The girl still with her arms around him thought in her mind I wish you could see, you could imagine that girl in me, I wish I wish and with that took a heavy breath.

Short Story-002

It was her birthday last week and she had donated blood. She had turned up 23 so she wanted to do some good deed.  Her blood group was (O-).  Today a child had met with a fatal accident while playing so his father was rushing him to the hospital all panicked and driving recklessly praying to almighty he could make it on time. This alarming and hysterical situation resulted in him hitting a girl by his car. It was a hit and run case. The girl died on the spot. The son had lost a lot of blood and transfusion was required. It was successful. The blood donated by the girl earlier was used and it was this ill fated girl only that the father had ran over today morning.

Short Story-001

He sees her sitting sad all alone by herself drowned in the waters of her pain and sorrows. Being a friend he gives her company and consoles her. Feeling better she says “I wish my journey of life was as smooth as yours without troubles and happiness all around with a feeling of contentment as if in heaven.”  He was returning from the hospital, his results of medical tests were out. He has cancer.

'सतरंगी  ज़िन्दगी'

  

आज  मुझे  फिर  से  धोका  मिल  गया 

ज़िन्दगी  में  एक  सबक  और  सीख  लिया

और  ऐसा  लगा  सतरंगी ज़िन्दगी का एक और नय्या रंग देख लिया 

तुम  हो  मेरे  अपने  लगता  है  सिर्फ  एक  भ्रम  था  मेरा 

शायद  पराये  को   अपना  समझने  का  जैसे  एक  पाप  था  मेरा 

वो  कहते  थे  अनजान  कभी  अपनापन  नहीं  दिखा  सकता 

पर  ज़िन्दगी  के  इस  एक  घटे  वाक्य  ने  समझा  दिया 

दिखने  को  तो  वो  अनजान  इंसानियत  भी  नहीं  दिखा  सकता 

ज़िन्दगी  सच  में  कभी  सतरंगी  इन्द्रधनुष  लगती  है 

कभी  कभी  रुलाती  है  कभी  कभी  हसाती  है 

अपने सब  रंग  से  वाकिफ  होने  से  पहले  फिर  एक  नय्या  रंग  दिखा  जाती  है 

पर  गौर  करो  तो  अंत  में  समझ  ही  जाओगे  

जिस  तरह  अलग  अलग  रंग  के  फूल  कितने  भी  पसंद  आये  

और  कितने  भी आँखों को भाये 

लगते  अच्छे  एक  साथ  एक  गुलदस्ते  में  ही  है 

उस्सी  तरह  काँटें  चाहए  कितने  भी  नोकिल्ले  लगे 

पैरों  में  इन  काँटों  से  पड़े  छाले  ही  

दुःख  के  बाद  सुख  का   एहसास  दिलाते  है 

निराशा  के  बाद  आशा  की  किरण  जगाते   है 

ज़हन  में  बस  के  बार  बार  याद  आते  है 

और  इस  रंग  बिरंगी ज़िन्दगी  का  सफ़र  रोमांचक  बनाते  है 

- अवनीश  गुप्ता